Past

I still can’t seem to get right

I keep on with the furious fight

The breaking of my heart and soul

My mind split like uncared for soil

Waking each morning with hope

Only to have it crushed by the slope

So slippery and cold my thoughts fall

Begging for reprieve for it to stall

The circle of thoughts that are constant

My past is like a disease like a demon

That let’s me feel peace for short breaths

Only to return with great fury and depth

Nuanced drenched my thoughts will race

My actions are slow to keep a fast pace

Once I have shown who I am to the world

I go back to my thoughts and they unfurl

They bring me back to the reality of loss

Of moments taken by the sticky moss

That decays my daily chances of love

Where is my rainbow where is the dove

That will lead me out of this dark circle

And bring me to peace to the sweet temple

The temple of now of Buddha of suffering

Suffering as part of life and learning

Life both happiness and immense pain

If given the chance I would do it again

Buddha And Meaning

I fail to see the meaning here

Buddha asked for no statues

No worship no praise

Other than those that learn the ways

The ways of spirituality

For saying no and receiving more

Under the Bodhi Tree he sat for many days

His fortune and title thrown out

Like an old useless pair of shoes

He searched for meaning through suffering

He found no meaning in suffering

He found it in the overcoming

The understanding of that suffering

500 years after his death

The first statue arrived

Over 2000 years later I find myself here

In the presence of thousands of Buddha statues

I find one with money in its hand

I doubt this is what he meant by meaning

More than Love

Love is more than holding the door

Love is removing all obstacles

Love is more than cooking dinner

Love is gracefully doing the dishes

Love is more than picking a flower

Love is tilling the soil with smiles

Love is more than writing a poem

Love is action and caring

Love is not simply saying you’re sorry

Love is never having to say the words

Newgrange

Take a trip to the tombs of Newgrange

Built by people from the Neolithic age

Over 5000 years ago

The sun shines in the doorways giving light

To all parts of the tomb with remains in sight

Built to withstand the punishing wind and rain

Stones brought from over 30 miles away

To provide homage to their ancestors and stay

Through the cold dark terrifying nights

The people huddled close family was life

When it was darkest they would build fire

Not only to keep warm but also to inspire

Fire for all people to see

Those scared could know community

They reached out to fellow humans

And cared about their ancestors

They also shared their knowledge

For future generations

Through meaning and lasting decisions

As we feel alone today may we remember

That they never were alone they were together

Dogs and Children

Strolling in a park in Michigan

With a dog and three children

Never has life been so simple

Like a living loving temple

I left a bit of my heart there

So that others might compare

Not in a competition or fight

But so they could see the light

There is nothing more special

Than seeing kids be helpful

Caring for a vulnerable animal

That love for them is rational

I think we should take a lesson

From the loving acts of children

They are the insight to our past

And truth that love will last

So take your dogs on a walk

Take them to a natural park

Bring your niece or nephew

Hold the moment hold the view

As we grow old and leave this place

Our life will come to the surface

Will you remember the bills you paid

And the fortunes you displayed

Or will the light beat the dark

As you remember that day in the park

Saying Sorry

I think about this word
How important and overused
It can be a flower or sword
In sound hands still abused

Nothing is ever really done
By saying to you I’m sorry
Only by a selfless action
Can I tell you a new story

We say sorry like vast clouds
With all our truth and pain
Some apologies spoken are void
And all of the uses bring rain

I think of my loving partner
The one I say sorry to most
I think not saying another
Would be better to boast

With confidence and compassion

We can guide our loving story

If hope leads our hard decisions

We can end saying we’re sorry

That time in Yelapa

The beach calls us from our left
and the sun
with all its power
pushes through our heart
heat rising like boiling water
slow but we are here
nowhere else for us to be
we are right
we follow this path
this dirty authentic path
two natural beings leading us
this path for them is smooth normal family
for us it is a break from who we are
who we were
I watch as you kick up regret fear pain yet
you walk with power grace and anger
but not anger for where you are
but where you were
I keep to your back
the sun to the left
I hold our love
I hold it close and keep it
that was a moment
a moment of conquest
it was that time in Yelapa
that I knew I could follow you
through anything anywhere

Sitting in the moment

In this journey I am on I keep trying

I keep trying to sit in the moment

Like hearing a bird that I know is beautiful

But I can never seem to see it

It’s there I hear it again and again and yet

it’s not there it flies away gone from me

The flight attendant asks if I want something

What I want is to not be on this plane this seat

Wherever I am going I don’t want to be here

A criticism dumped on like mud by a friend

It covers me from head to toe with black

Dripping with hurt and burning me inside

In Yoga class everyone is doing a headstand

I am in child’s pose breathing like a pug

Fasting for three days and thinking why am I

Yet knowing all of this will pass it will

like hot water burns the skin tingles nerves

It will pass will end and will happen again

I sit with the moment the unwanted blanket

I tell myself feel it and react in a positive way

It’s so hard to not give in to not get frustrated

Life is feeling life is uncomfortable

life is choice and I could choose to

Tell the flight attendant thank you I am good

Tell my friend that I appreciate the mud

Tell myself try the headstand again breathe

Tell myself wanting less is living more for

When it’s uncomfortable it hurts the most

I remember it means I am alive in this world

That I have a place it is right here right now

RIGHT NOW is life whether it hurts or not